Serpentina's Musings

Mohawk Warrior Woman

2012-01-28T10:53:00.001-08:00

Mohawk woman in progress...

2012-01-14T08:18:00.000-08:00

Stepping thru in progress....

2012-01-10T13:06:00.000-08:00

Patience, Respect, Boundaries, Messages, and Wisdom.

2012-01-03T10:37:00.000-08:00

Last night I did a pathways spread with my medicine wheel cards to clarify where I am at right now in my life. I love using divination to cast light on the patterns of energies surrounding me. I think of it as lighting a lantern in the night and discovering another piece of the mysterious path I walk.

East is the direction of spiritual strength and the spiritual direction I am moving in. The animal spirit that came was Ant. Ant is a community minded creature and works for the good of the whole. The energy Ant brings is patience and trust. Be patient and I will be rewarded and have what I need.

South is speaks about what my inner child is being taught and what I need to trust in myself. Skunk is the card I drew. The confidence with which Skunk wanders through life comes from a profound self-respect as well as the respect with which other animals treat her. Its about how the carriage of my body reflects what I believe about myself. What I believe about myself is my ultimate protection. It is also about asserting myself without ego.

West presents the internal solution to my present challenges and who did I draw but Armadillo. Armadillo is about boundaries - about defining my space, saying no, honoring my time, and choosing the experiences I wish to have as part of my life. Negative criticisms and disapproval roll off Armadillo's armored back.

North presents the animal spirit who helps me integrate the lessons of the other directions. My old friend Hawk appeared in this direction. Hawk is the messenger of spirit and to hear that message one must be observant, aware, and open to receiving signals, omens, and signs. Hawk tells me to circle high over my life and examine what I see. Hawk is the key to walking my wisdom.

The center is called the Sacred Mountain and the animal spirit who comes is about who I am right now in the present moment. Amusingly, Owl appeared. Owl is Wisdom in all her aspects. Owl, a creature of the night, flies on silent wings and is about understanding deception, both being deceived and seeing through deception. The message is to use my powers of observation to intuit the whole truth of the life situation I am in. Owl is magic and clairvoyance.

Clarity I asked for and clarity I received. Be patient and I will be rewarded. Believe in myself and let the energy of that belief permeate throughout my body and inform how I carry myself in the world. Set boundaries and honor my time and my choices. Use my armor to shed those negative words that are not mine. Be observant. Pay attention and be open to messages. Look at the big picture and walk in Wisdom, flying silently on my wings when need be.

New Years wish...

2011-12-31T09:11:00.000-08:00

As the year comes to an end tonight, I am thinking thoughts of gestation. What is turning over in the compost of old patterns leaving and new ideas being birthed? What do the spirits that be want from me in this coming year? What do I want to manifest?

I have find it valuable to ask these questions of myself, especially at these transition points in the season. Doing so clarifies how I live my life. Using the current words of the time, how I occupy my life. This year I ask these questions from a place of groundedness and a commitment to be focused.

My wish is to manifest my life with passion, balance, and prosperity. To go out into the world creating positive change in all I touch. To be surrounded and supported with harmony and love.

May your wishes manifest in the best possible way this year. Happy New Year!

Happy Solstice!

2011-12-22T08:40:00.000-08:00

Happy Solstice!

After the long dark of the autumn, the sun is returning. The "child" is born again from the mother's womb. I am always a bit surprised by the intensity of the dark, especially at the end. I think because I go into the clear dark as if I were in a womb. There is always some part of my life that needs gestating whether I am conscious of it or not. And being unconscious of it is the more likely case as things that grow in the dark, like babies, are intuitive and organic and have their own way of being.

For me, the coming new year is one of focus. Of taking all I have learned and bringing it out into the world. Of gratitude for the teachings that have come to me, the community of friends who support me, and the life I live of abundance and opportunity.

This morning I drew the Wheel of Fortune card. This is my year card so I chuckled seeing it show up. The third card was an Ace of Discs. Good fortune, good luck, and gifts are coming my way - I hope around manifesting more and more of my lifework. The son of Swords, the second card and not upright, a reminder to release the old patterns of being overly rational and step into the flow of my path and to remember to trust.

May your Solstice be filled with light and joy, your holidays bright and merry, and your new year filled with abundance and love.

Her hair is full of stories...

2011-11-20T18:31:00.001-08:00

Art Reception December 10th!

2011-11-20T18:01:00.000-08:00

My latest newsletter is up. Read all about the Images of the Virgin show and reception on December 10th!!

Wise woman in progress

2011-11-14T17:05:00.001-08:00

He Who Dances with Snakes in progress

2011-11-04T13:06:00.001-07:00

Shadows & hilites in progress....

2011-11-01T14:02:00.001-07:00

Transformation... In progress...

2011-10-27T20:33:00.001-07:00

a pattern come full circle

2011-10-27T15:49:00.000-07:00

My mother, who is a psychic, was ordained a minister in the Church of the Holy Grail in Santa Cruz in the 1970s. As a result of her studies with the church, she held classes at her house for many years. The classes encompassed all kinds of metaphysical teachings from readings to hands-on healings.

When I was 19 or so, home from college for a few days, I joined her class for an evening. That particular evening she did an exercise where she handed around a sealed envelope with something in it. We each held the envelope in our hands, closed our eyes, and then spoke what we saw or felt.

When the envelope came to me, I remember being unsure having never done anything like this before and then surprised when a vision, almost like a movie, came to me of a young native American youth sitting astride a brown and white Appaloosa pony up on a bluff above my village. Somehow I knew he and I were the same person.

From up on the bluff, I could clearly see all the intimate details of village life laid out below: woven baskets of food, furs spread in the sun, smoke from the tipis, children running and hooting, women cooking and weaving, and horses grazing nearby.

Next to me was an elder - a shaman. He was speaking with me about what I was to do in my life. It was a quiet, unhurried conversation as we sat on our horses in the morning sun watching the village.

I never forgot this vision and now it has returned to me full circle.

I have spent the last few years healing my Divine Feminine self. When I was visited by two snakes last May, I realized I had not acknowledged the role of the Divine Masculine nor has it held a true place in my life. My spiritual work this summer was to release old negative patterns from the hurtful, unbalanced relationships I have had with men.

These energies manifested in a cyst in my body which had to be removed 10 days ago. Before my surgery I sensed an entity waiting patiently to manifest. After the surgery, as I moved out of the fog of anesthesia and pain into healing, I began painting a third angel painting in which the angel holds the cyst from which emerges transformed energies in the form of a bejeweled butterfly.

As that painting progressed, the entity became clearer and more present. And then, Tuesday of this week, I woke up and He was here standing toe to toe with me looking in my eyes. I was taken by surprise at the quiet intensity of his presence.

I know that he is the youth I saw in my vision matured now into a strong, fierce, patient, sure man. A powerful man who has no need to look in others eyes for approval. He has a place now in my heart. And he wants me to paint him.

Transformation in progress....

2011-10-25T16:39:00.001-07:00

The Healing

2011-10-09T20:37:00.001-07:00

News from Serpentina's Studio

2011-10-08T16:52:00.000-07:00

My newsletter for this autumn is now available.

Note: prints and greeting cards can now be purchased in a variety of sizes and papers via Fine Arts America. Links are available on my Gallery pages for each painting.

Enjoy!

We are the Altars We Create

2011-10-04T09:22:00.000-07:00

This came to me this morning via my fellow Altarista Catherine. We are truly the altars we create!

ALTARS. WOMEN’S ALTARS.

November 6, 2009
by Grover Cleveland

Altars. Women’s altars.
Altars of peace, of beauty,
Of everydayness, of family.
Altars of whimsy and strength,
Of presence and escape.

Altars to what we love,
To whom we love,
To whom we are now,
To the discovery of
Who we are becoming.

Women’s altars to honor
Ourselves, our lives,
Our spirits, our lineages,
Our families and loved ones,
The known and unknown.

We assemble the altars out of
Our hearts, guts and spirits.
However consciously or
Whimsically, they are made
Of the stuff of us, what matters.

Disassembling them, we bring
Them back inside ourselves,
Integrating and absorbing
What we have externally
Observed and honored.

We are the altars we create.
Altars. Women as altars.

Shadows and lights....

2011-09-22T14:16:00.001-07:00

Blocking in....

2011-09-22T10:26:00.001-07:00

Questing....

2011-09-22T09:19:00.000-07:00

Message from a passion flower...

2011-09-13T14:42:00.000-07:00

Woman with head of fire

2011-09-10T20:51:00.001-07:00

I am in the midst of training as a teacher of the Color of Women method. One of the homework assignments has been to paint our personal version of the Lady of the Divine Spark which I have almost completed as you can see above. I started this painting before I went off to the first weekend get together for our training where I met all my other sisters-in-painting and had an amazing and wonderful time.

After the weekend of training, I returned to this painting and realized the energy of the painting had entirely changed. (Ifyou look down a couple blog posts, you can see an early sketch.) What had been a trickle of connection with something had become a flood with the gates torn off their hinges and look out here she comes! What was on the canvas before was not what wanted to be painted now.

At first I thought she was of the "head on fire" persona, however, as the painting progressed she manifested not as 'on fire' but 'of fire'. She is pure creative fire. I find it highly amusing that the day and evening I spent painting her culminated in a rare lightening storm - as if she has so much energy it lit up the sky. Divine Spark indeed!

Contemporary Symbolism

2011-08-31T19:41:00.000-07:00

Periodically, and not very seriously I have to admit, I have wondered where my artwork fits within the larger world of art and artists and styles and movements. Recently, I discovered an answer that clicks together like puzzle pieces. The pieces came to me through a conversation with Roberto Gomez de Perdomo, the Impressario for the gallery of my wonderful teacher, Shiloh Sophia McCloud. The painting above is one of hers hanging over my altar: Paradise is Within You.

He explained where Shiloh's work sits within the larger context of the Contemporary Symbolism movement and how her work has been influenced by artists like Gustav Klimt, Frida Kahlo, and Mary Cassatt. Interestingly, artists who were rebels in their time.

I thought about what he said. I have always loved the work of Mary Cassatt and Frida Kahlo. I discussed Frida in my thesis and how the traumas in her life must have influenced what she painted. She walked her own unique path in the world.

Gustav Klimt I could not picture immediately. I did a search on his paintings and realized I remembered his paintings perfectly well - just not his name. His paintings of women are glorious though they were not well accepted when he painted them.

Knowing this background enables me to place my work into the context of Contemporary Symbolism like another piece of the puzzle falling into place.

A muse and a quest....

2011-08-23T09:19:00.001-07:00

I am questing for the 'tools' that help me manifest my lifework right now in my life. These tools are magical, wondrous, and creative. They make take any form - a person, a word, a stroke of paint, a brush. I feel myself with my feet on my path, bare toes in the brown earth wiggling and making patterns in the dust on the trail. I can feel around me the energies of creation, bird song, cat purring, rose scent, and the texture of magic.

I close my eyes and step forward reaching out with my heart, sending tendrils of myself out in all directions - east, south, west, north, sky, earth and back to heart. The vibrations return back to me of the 'tools' I am sent to find. I can taste them in my body. I know they are coming to me as I reach out to them.

The doorway ... In progress....

2011-08-15T20:32:00.001-07:00

in progress: The Doorway of Money and Red Sparkly Shoes

2011-08-14T21:29:00.000-07:00

Doorways are thresholds that represent opportunities and choice. They can be open, closed, locked, or hanging off their hinges. Sometimes, I know I have to move through a doorway and I ignore its existence. Then there are times I call a doorway to me because that is where my path leads me. Such is the case with this doorway.

Money, wealth, abundance, and prosperity are all linked concepts for me. Yet there is/was something not quite balanced in the way I was holding these concepts. Part of this came from the long history of how my father dealt with money; he always had a scheme to make money and never actually was able to hold on to any. My mother was the one who saved up money that he stole from her to spend on his latest get-rich scheme.

The lessons I learned taught me to not value my contributions as a woman. I fell into this pattern of letting men have all the worth I accumulate. I walk away because I wasn't worthy of it and they were going to take it anyways because that was what men did to women. Sigh. These childhood conditioning things are never pretty.

My intention in shifting my relationship with money is to honor myself, my life work, and my needs. I see myself surrounded by ever-increasing upward spirals of money and wealth that support myself and my daughter with more than enough to live, travel, create, and enable my work of helping others to connect to their own innate creativity. This is the doorway I am creating. It has golden doorposts with spirals going up them. The collage bits are about money and travel and creativity and my life work.

And then there are those red sparkly shoes. Those are magical and they are MINE. You see when I walk through that doorway, I put them on and click my heels three times and the world changes.

jack rabbit clearing the way

2011-08-02T13:56:00.000-07:00

When I was out walking today, I saw two jack rabbits. Rabbits are most obviously associated with fertility given their ability to procreate. However, they are also associated with the lunar cycle and with the tides of life. When a rabbit appears in your life, it can bring you a better sense of the movements of the tides within your own life.

I am intrigued by jack rabbit showing up for a visit. The last month or so have been difficult. Another mysterious malady of the abdominal region has shown up, similar to what showed up around 4 years ago, and then disappeared on its own. The doctors are not much help as they run test after test.

Because I walk a spiritual path, I am well aware of how things I am working on can manifest in my body. Having something happening that is a mystery is a sure sign of it being more than simply physical. It usually takes me a bit of time to discern the nature of what I am dealing with and so it has been this time.

I keep getting the message that I must move forward for the other things in my life to fall away or align in more positive ways. To move forward, my path has to be clear enough to make progress. Clearing is the key concept here. I must clear away my stuff - those patterns that no longer serve and the perspectives that no longer support me.

I have begun by clearing my fears around money and financial success. My relationship to money and financial success is rooted in my sense of self-worth. Am I worthy of being financially successful? YES! Do I believe I can do my life's work and sustain myself and my daughter financially? YES! I clear away the sticky fears and bring in the glorious many hued colors of success!

Why is the Queen of Swords here?

2011-07-08T21:20:00.000-07:00

The Queen of Swords sees the black and white in the threads around her, but she knows the world is never truly black and white. What she does know is when it is time to act, time to protect, and time to cut away. She slices through illusions and clouded thinking demanding clarity.

She will not allow you to stop when you must keep moving. She is implacable. She is action in the face of paralysis. She uses her leverage to move even the most blocked stone in the river, rolling it to the side, if necessary, so the full current of life can rush past it .

Ride on her shoulder or place her in your heart, she will protect you. She clears the way of all obstructions. Do not doubt her power. Do not stand in her way.

Queen of Swords in progress

2011-07-07T14:20:00.000-07:00

I posted some days ago about a visit I had from two snakes. There was a releasing and opening that has happened in the weeks following that visitation. A shifting in my perception of myself and how I relate to the humans in my world. One of the shifts is about how I relate to the men in my life, especially those who are angry and not self-aware.

I allowed myself to be hurt over and over because I did not know how to stand up and say enough is enough. One of the lessons of the two snakes was not just that I needed to change how I relate to abusive 'male' energies, but that standing up to that energy showed me that it is my perception that empowers the energy of the other person. When I fear, it feeds them - and disempowers me.

And, when I stand up and stick to my boundaries, what I fear does not manifest. By not empowering someone else through my fear, I open the door for something new to manifest. I create a container for opportunity.

All these patterns of understanding are coming together in me and, lo and behold, who shows up but the Queen of Swords. She who clearly sees what must be done and takes action. She who wants me to paint her.

Yippee kay yay doo daa whooo hooooo!

2011-07-03T12:07:00.000-07:00

I just clicked on a button that is going to change my life - again.

All my life I have dabbled in the arts. I did collage, book binding, graphic design, jewelry making - everything except painting.

When I began the Women's Spirituality masters program at ITP, things in my life changed and transformed in amazing ways. One major breakthrough was coming to a place where I owned living, working, and being an artist. I am a creative being and I live the pink in my hair!

One of the classes I took in my first quarter was a class called Art as a Sacred Practice. It was taught by Shiloh Sophia McCloud - painter, teacher, inspiration, and cosmic cowgirl extraordinaire.

My experience in the class was absolute total happiness. She put a brush in my hand and a canvas in front of me and I painted. My painting was Cat Goddess Singing Creation - an supremely apt title for those who know me. (Thats her at the bottom of this post.) My memories of the class were of me smiling, happy, and not wanting it to end.

After the class I kept painting and it has become a lifeline, a spiritual practice, and a gift to our planet. It is a key part of my lifework to bring creativity and healing to our culture and painting is huge piece of that.

Shiloh is offering a training course to certify those who want to teach her Color of Woman painting classes. She has never done this before. And yours truly has applied and been accepted into the program!

Yippee kay yay doo daa whooo hooooo!

When the doors open, step through.

2011-06-26T21:11:00.000-07:00

How do I manifest my lifework?

This is a question near and dear to my heart. A few years ago I walked away from my career in hi-tech for a variety of reasons which included following my heart's desire. One of the things I discovered that had made that job so dissatisfying was the underlying cultural requirement that my mind lead. Minds do not actually work very well as leaders.

I can hear those of you who love the logical ways of the mind going, say what?

My heart leads because this is where the font of creativity flows from. The energy of creativity is intuitive, inspiring, spontaneous, passionate, and definitely not logical. My best paintings are ones that are painted entirely from my heart. Heart is intuition.

This is not to say that mind has no role in my life. Mind has a very clear role. Mind supports heart. When heart receives a vision that just has to be painted, mind figures out when it can happen and keeps the schedule clear. When heart sees a delicate weed shape that just has to be drawn, mind remembers where the sketch book is.

What has this to do with life work? Everything. Manifesting my lifework is a process that requires trust, passion, vision, good luck, and hard work. It is about following my heart's desire, not my mind logical conclusion.

Every once in a while I have to remind myself that I live from my heart and follow my heart's desire. It brings everything I do into a sharper focus which is critically important when my life is moving through a period of change. That focus enables me to see through the fears that arise. It enables me to shift how I manifest in this world. And the power to shift how I manifest is how I manifest my heart's desire.

Lizard bite

2011-06-05T20:19:00.000-07:00

Today Princess showed me the treasure she had under my bed - a large alligator lizard. I could see Princess was not getting very close to the lizard which meant it was pissed enough to bite. (the photo above is similar to the one I found.)

I went and got a small cloth so I could grab and wrap at the same time, hoping to avoid a bite. However, Lizard was just on the other side of a bed leg and hard to get at. So, of course, I did not get a good hold and he bit me hard on my knuckle. No blood, just torn skin.

He let go and I told him to stop wiggling, I was getting him out of the house as fast as I could. And I did - right out the front door where my passing neighbor stopped in surprise to see what I had.

I let Lizard go on the side of the front step and Lizard stopped and stared at me, clearly intent on communicating something to me and it was not thank you. It felt a bit more like "will you please get the frigging message already." Ok. My knuckle is tingling and aching so I go back in and start looking up lizard symbology.

Lizard medicine is about dreamtime, intuition, subtle perceptions and leaving things behind that need to be left behind. (Ted Andrews' book Animal Speak has an excellent discussion about lizard.) Lizard tells us to listen to our own intuition above anything or anyone else. To write down and pay attention to our dreams. To pay attention to the subtle energies speaking to us. That our psychic abilities are going to wake up or notch up a level.

Apparently, I needed a dose of Lizard energy. I am thankful for the message especially the part about listening to my own intuition above all others. That validates my own sense of empowerment.

But I still have one lingering question for Lizard. Was I really paying so little attention that I had to get bit so hard my knuckle still aches - or were you just being pugnacious?

how we react

2011-06-03T19:59:00.001-07:00

I walk a shamanic path and have always had a sense of having one foot in two worlds. This week that feeling began getting stronger. The energies in the world right now are like shifting currents that won't stay still for long. My mind did not recognize the feeling for what it was until today. Spirit 'knew' immediately, and Body figured it out. Mind was, as usual, a bit behind which is one reason why Mind can feel spacy.

There was a point where it was all made clear to me. I was at work and the phone rang and I was informed that someone may have hit my car in the parking lot. I walked out to the parking lot and indeed one of the students had scraped up the back left corner while trying to park. The student was someone I had talked to before - she has a good spirit.

She was upset she had hit my car and was already on the phone to her insurance company reporting the accident. Despite the damage to my car, I was not upset or angry. If anything I was worried she was hurt. I did not yell, accuse, or assign blame. This accident simply that - an accident. I did not even ask her what happened.

However, I did not realize this was how I was reacting. Not until she said to me, "Thank you. You have reminded me that WHAT happened is not important. HOW I react is what is important." Her statement resonated so much with me that I spontaneously gave her a hug.

Later today the patterns of energy clarified more. I've been having a hard time staying in this mundane world all day. Feeling ungrounded. The connection I have to the Spirit world has been tugging at me all day, probably because the energies in this world are shifting so much, I am more grounded in that world. And being grounded in Spirit, I responded to the accident from that world, not this one. I responded from a place of balance, Spirit, and harmony. That's pretty cool.

perseverance anyone?

2011-05-22T18:30:00.000-07:00

I had a wonderful conversation with Shiloh Sophia McCloud about getting myself out into the world as an artist. She is wonderfully inspiring and practical all at the same time. Being a successful artist is hard work. It takes courage, time, determination, and trust. Doubt can sneak in when I least expect it.

I decided to get out my runes to see what they had to tell me. It has been a while since they have been out and my reading skills were a tad rusty at first. However, it comes back quickly. I just remind myself to listen to my heart.

When I asked about getting myself out into the world as an artist, the rune I drew was uruz, the rune of power. It is about strength and perseverance and the vital energy of the universe. This elicited a huge chuckle from me. Being an artist is where my power is and it certainly does require perseverance!

Viewing the cosmos...

2011-05-21T10:55:00.001-07:00

This painting is of my daughter when she was about 18 months to two years old. She had found a translucent green ruler in a desk drawer. She put the ruler up to her eyes and wandered all over the house with the ruler plastered to her face. She was clearly mesmerized by what she saw.

It made me wonder. What did she see through that ruler? Was it the same thing that I saw? Or was there more there that she could see being so much newer to life than myself? What if she could see a view of the cosmos that no one else could see? What would it look like?

Today I painted the ruler back in over her face and it reminded me once more of when she first put it up to her eyes and viewed the cosmos.

Turtle Woman in progress, glazing...

2011-05-17T12:39:00.001-07:00

Turtle Woman is about She who creates the world. At least that is the vision behind the painting. More on the story later.

The painting needed to be glazed and repainted to bring out the colors. Now to put in more detail and then more glazing to bring out the jewel tones. And, she is telling me I have more work to do around the turtle shell on her back. Something about how there is a light in her heart that needs to glow through the shell. There are also threads or roots out into the earth growing from her back. More to paint, and then more will be revealed.

Raven the Brown Vulture

2011-05-11T08:15:00.000-07:00

A friend told me he thinks of Raven as Chaos and I have been pondering this view of Raven. Given Raven's ability to shape shift and her similarity to Coyote for some peoples, I can see this thread in her energy. Raven is a catalyst for the energy of the creative life force. From a shamanic perspective, Raven can help you shift your being into something else. She uses tools, she is playful, but she also has the energy to become one with you.

Vulture is a seriously misunderstood bird. She is the companion of Death - without Vulture we would not be able to move between Death to Birth. The entire body of the vulture is designed to allow her to move the mess of death into the earth as quickly as possible thus preventing disease from spreading.

When Vulture comes, she usually has a message, perhaps of a new relationship or the end to suffering. Vulture energy moves us away from the mundane world. She is patient and will wait for you to see what message she brings. And wait, and wait. Her presence can feel inevitable and it is best to listen sooner than later if you can.

So what kind of energy do you get when both birds manifest in one's life? A scavenging, playful, implacable lunatic who pushes you to work with the magic of creation through the process of regeneration? Close.

I have a entity on my altar that came into my life many years ago. Her name is Raven and she is a Brown Vulture. For years, if someone asked me who she was I would say Raven without hesitation. One day a friend pointed out the small title on the statue that said Brown Vulture. Raven told me it was an enigma for me to figure out. Ok.

Raven aka Brown Vulture is one of my guardians. She IS my altar in some sense. She always watches me. It was disconcerting at first, now it is comforting. She periodically gives me messages or makes it clear that I have work to do in some particular area. Usually cleaning up, healing, so that there is opportunity for creative energy to flow. Sometimes she makes it clear something is dead and to clean up. Sometimes reminds me to PAY ATTENTION NOW.

She brings together the magic of creation with the magic of regeneration for me so I can see how the creative energies need to move. I can't say I always like hearing what she says, but I have learned to hear and listen because one thing I figured out is that she illuminates my path.

Turtle Woman in progress...

2011-05-10T21:18:00.001-07:00

black clouds and dancing

2011-05-09T17:15:00.000-07:00

I have been feeling like I have much to muse upon. Talked a long time to a close friend on Saturday and came home and wrote a poem-like stream of consciousness about the black cloud over my heart. All the anger, frustration, and resentment that piled up over the last few years. It is time to clear out the black cloud.

Then, the universe led me to another conversation with a different friend on Sunday. A conversation about the value of constructive male energy and dancing. A conversation that put a smile on my face. A supportive conversation.

When I was getting ready to leave for work this morning, I picked up a cloth and a bear fetish I had placed in it fell out. It shattered all over the floor. It was a bear fetish my mother had given me but not one that I felt I had a strong connection to. Another thread of energy adjusting.

I went for a walk this afternoon at the Bay Lands to muse upon black clouds, threads of energy, and dancing. The kind of ideas that not lend themselves to thinking, but need to be sat with.

As I walked along, I came across a long brown snake completely stationary in the grass in front of me. While my mind chattered on about will it stay still long enough to take a picture, the rest of me moved down close to it, wanting to touch it and hold it. As I got closer, I realized why the brown snake was so still. Another snake had the brown snake's head in its mouth. The other snake looked like the kind I saw on Thursday, perhaps a gopher snake.

The brown snake felt male and the gopher snake felt female. Suddenly, the gopher snake released the brown snake and they both twisted sideways and away from each other and were gone. It was like a huge amount of energy was being held still, in stasis, and then furiously pulled apart and they were done.

I kept walking, musing as I went. Were the two snakes and what they did a message for me? or a message for someone else? My mind wandered through the paths of connections lightly resting here and there.

As I walked I saw a pair of mated geese fly by me. I let the wind blow though me, feeling it clear away the black cloud like I was a strand of grass dancing with the wind spirits. I walked and walked, periodically stopping and letting the wind blow through me again until I felt peaceful and grounded. I turned back and the mated pair of geese flew by me again.

There is a way in which today feels like I have been walking on shifting threads of energy all day, sort of like walking on glass balls not knowing what is shifting where.

Turtle woman in progress

2011-05-07T09:33:00.000-07:00

Viewing the cosmos

2011-05-03T15:16:00.001-07:00

Green colored ruler sketched

2011-04-28T12:10:00.001-07:00

Sneaker other side

2011-04-22T19:56:00.001-07:00

Sneaker in progress

2011-04-21T20:17:00.001-07:00

Sneaker designs

2011-04-21T20:16:00.001-07:00

the cat book of life

2011-04-19T13:17:00.000-07:00

Life has been just a bit whacko lately. Real estate deals that almost go through and then don't. Strep throat flying through. Finding out I apparently volunteered to do something I didn't realize I volunteered to do. Having to cancel a class I am teaching. My brother with cancer who just got through the last crisis (dog bit his hand) and then gets in a car accident.

I think I am going to take a page from the cat book of life. It's day time and that must mean it's time to curl up and sleep. Let life do what it will. If life really gets noisy, crawl under the bed where its nice and dark and cozy and no one can find me. Otherwise, just choose the closest fleecy blanket and sprawl on out. Periodically wake up and stretch, then roll over and sleep some more. Purr when necessary.

Heart of the Earth

2011-04-12T11:54:00.000-07:00

Heart of the earth in progress...

2011-04-07T12:27:00.000-07:00

a wonderful art reception...

2011-04-03T20:50:00.000-07:00

Many thanks to everyone who came last night to the opening reception for my art show at the Institute for Transpersonal Psychology. It was awesome to see everyone including the faces I had not seen in a long time!

And many thanks to my friends for the fantastic food and for the many hands to clean up and take me to dinner after.

Heart of the earth emerging

2011-03-27T15:00:00.000-07:00

Scales!!

2011-03-22T16:27:00.000-07:00

Medusa done!

2011-03-19T13:58:00.000-07:00

settling...

2011-03-10T21:04:00.000-08:00

Life is slowly settling into new routines now that I have added a part-time job into the mix. I have this constant awareness of balance as I move through the myriad of things I am doing. Having a job elsewhere means medical benefits and money coming in. But it takes away time for painting, creating workshops, and other critical things like yoga to keep my back happy.

I asked Lakshmi for aid and She gave me this job so I know its what needs to happen right now and I am thankful for it. It was clearly meant to be. However, now that I am spending ~20 hours elsewhere, the time I have here at home in my studio becomes even more precious.

It seems that a focusing is taking place around what is important and what needs to get done. The path is illuminating in front of me bit by bit.

Medusa background in progress

2011-03-03T08:54:00.000-08:00

photos of the altar...

2011-02-26T14:56:00.000-08:00

Finally got around to uploading the images from the altar I created up at the Faith in Feminism, Womanist, Mujerista Festival last November. That was a fun project!

Everything is reforming around her...

2011-02-21T18:33:00.001-08:00

Winds of change in her cool frame!

2011-02-20T14:19:00.001-08:00

new and wonderful directions...

2011-02-20T08:24:00.000-08:00

Life has been moving and shaking and rattling lately.

I spent last weekend up in the Anderson Valley painting with my amazing painting teacher, Sue Hoya Sellars. We painted waves on the Mendocino Headlands and landscapes on the side of her hill looking out over a valley. Did little pencil studies, sumi-e drawings, and painted a river on my painting of Medusa. It was awesome.

Wednesday I started my job as the Admissions Counselor for the Women's Spirituality Masters program at the Institute for Transpersonal Psychology. The job is part-time - I work 3 days a week for around 6 hours each day. Been having to get my head around using a slow Windows machine and learning the database they use to track everything.

Its been really fun teaching Creative Expression classes every second and fourth Tuesday of the month. I love it when people bring in projects they are in the midst of for coaching and just to work on. And I have a Snake workshop coming up on March 12th.

Life is clearly heading in new and wonderful directions for which I am very thankful.

River in progress

2011-02-17T08:54:00.000-08:00

gifts from Lakshmi

2011-02-01T13:50:00.000-08:00

When I moved at the end of November, I took down my altar and packed all the bits up. Including my picture of Lakshmi the Indian goddess of abundance and prosperity. I searched for her when I put my altar back up but could not find her picture anywhere. Last week on Wednesday I printed out a new copy of her picture and returned her to my altar.

Thursday I received a phone call with a potential job opportunity. One that seemed made exactly for me - part-time, interesting, working with my old school for the Women's Spirituality program. The energy around the whole thing felt like someone had turned on a light and opened a door and of course I was to step through it.

It took a day or so to get my head around the idea of having a job. Not that I did not assume I would have a job again, more that I thought it would be a while before I started working again. However, I have learned that letting my heart lead means life travels a road that does not follow the same rules one might expect. In fact, sometimes my path does not appear to even follow anything as defined as a road.

That said, I had my favorite amazing Tarot reader read the cards for me. Had my energy worker friend ask my body what it wanted to do. Talked to my wonderful friends. Lakshmi has handed me a gift and I am taking it with profuse thanks to her for this gift.

Painting hair....

2011-01-30T12:34:00.001-08:00

Camellia bud

2011-01-19T14:42:00.001-08:00

She morphed...

2011-01-18T11:11:00.001-08:00

New background in progress

2011-01-14T13:08:00.001-08:00

A frame for She Who Calls

2011-01-07T11:22:00.000-08:00

Naga Kanya

2011-01-01T09:54:00.000-08:00

I have this small metal snake goddess statue that I found at a pagan conference. She was labeled "winged god". She has a halo of five snakes, wings, her upper body is clearly a woman's body with breasts, and her lower body is snake.

I asked everyone I could if they might have info on who she was. She is a naga I was told but no one knew from where other then possibly southern India.

Well, today, I was blissfully cruising the internet hunting for snake images for my upcoming workshop and, lo and behold, there she was: Naga Kanya, the daughter of a naga.

Nagas are guardians and are frequently seen in the doorways of temple guarding the doors. They are considered superior to humans and protect wells, rivers, and rain. Naga Kanya brings rain. Nagas represent cosmic power and are a "fierce spirit." (There is an interesting write-up here. Click on the Naga Worship link.)

There is a cool picture of one here all dressed up in gold. Maybe I will decorate mine!

Beer cap snake!!!!

2010-12-31T11:18:00.000-08:00

Getting dressed....

2010-12-29T10:29:00.001-08:00

Merry Xmas!

2010-12-25T11:16:00.000-08:00

Merry Xmas all!

Santa came. Left all kinds of fun presents. Stockings full of goodies and paper jamz guitars. Hero got in the spirit and rolled in the tissue paper and ripped it up. Then tried to drink water from the xmas tree. Yuck! We made scones with chocolate chips. Ate potatoes and bacon. Next, we have to go to Daddy's house and see what Santa left there!

The best part is the singing, happy silver sparkle clad fairy girl flitting about my house. :)

Merry Xmas eve!

2010-12-24T20:09:00.000-08:00

a wasp and a hummingbird

2010-12-22T13:29:00.000-08:00

A wasp was crawling across the floor of my studio area. Nice big yellow and black striped nasty. I put an empty yogurt container on it and went to find a piece of stiff paper so as to scoop the beastie up and get it outside.

I usually let critters like this go, however, wasps usually signify nasty energy being sent your way. Thus I had this niggling feeling that I needed to connect to my dark side and send it onward through death to regeneration so its energy could be transformed. I certainly do not want nasty energy in my house or life. So I stomped it. As I said, not my usual behavior.

Less then five minutes later, I was walking downstairs and looked out the window. There, gracefully flitting about, was a gorgeous green hummingbird. Hummingbirds are the messengers of the gods. She stopped her flitting and sat on a branch and looked at me. I see you, I sent back to her. Then she continued with her task of nectar collection.

It felt like hummingbird was letting me know that I did what I needed to do with the wasp. It was about stuff that needed to stay gone permanently from my life. Given we just had an eclipse, this makes sense as eclipses are a great time to get rid of old baggage. With Solstice and New Year upon us, it is also a time of reflection and moving into new patterns of life - away from those that no longer serve me.

Happy Solstice!

The Tale of Two Cats, part 1

2010-12-21T10:30:00.000-08:00

Yesterday the cats moved in with us. We brought over Princess first. She was pretty freaked out and didn't do too much investigating. I carried her all over the house and showed her the essentials: litter box, food, and where our beds were.

Once she found kiddo's bed, she was happy. It has the rather large stuffed unicorn on it that kiddo got from Grandma a long time ago. And it smells just right apparently because Princess squirmed her way in behind it and took a snooze.

Later in the day, we brought over Hero. He was entirely different in his approach. He got out of his carrier and began prowling. Everything had to be examined. He followed me all over the house. He let me know that he was checking everything out. He seemed pretty fearless about the whole thing - even climbed up on the sofa and looked out the window.

When Princess discovered Hero was there she became a bit more adventurous. She climbed up behind my computer and checked out my closet and went under my bed. She is mostly hanging out on the second floor where the bedrooms are.

Hero seems to be mostly hanging out on the first floor tucked in behind my big wood studio table. Hero has already decided he wants to go outside. Inside is too boring!

Solstice Musings

2010-12-20T08:53:00.001-08:00

Solstice is the time of year I contemplate the circle of life and how I dance within that circle. Not sure why I muse like this - could be the dark time of year just brings it out.

In Western culture, there is this idea that life ends with death that has never made any sense to me. Anyone who has grown a garden from seed knows that life never ends. Seeds sprout, leaves come forth from the earth, plants grow and bloom and create fruits and seeds, and die back to begin again. The dead plants nourish the soil for the seeds to start the cycle again.

It is the same with humans and all other animals. However, we humans get stuck partly because of our emphasis on individuality. This exact individual will die and they won't be born again and that is tragedy. Is it? I do not wish to underplay the tragedy of losing a loved one; I have experienced grief and it is not a place I care to visit.

I find a healthy way to understand the role of death is to return it to its place in the circle of life. A place that encompasses honoring our ancestors, the transitions of life, and my own role in those transitions. A place that focuses on the dance of life here and now in this moment.

Merry Solstice and may LIFE bring you many blessings!

Ballerinas on the tree

2010-12-09T19:59:00.000-08:00

cleaning out the old house

2010-12-08T11:51:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I went back down to Hollister to finish up the cleaning on the old house so it can be sold. I worked my buns off, as they say. Scrubbed the laundry room floor, moved all kinds of stuff into the garage, bagged garbage, vacuumed the office floor, and got my Dad to move all the wood bins off the driveway with the tractor. Then I hosed and broomed the driveway off.

When I drove down in the morning it was very foggy through Gilroy and onto Hiway 25 with the steam lifting off the rows in the fields as the sun glowed behind the clouds. As I got into Hollister, the sun came out.

There were deer when I drove into the property. The wild turkeys were all strutting down the road - about 12 of them mostly full gown with two younger ones hassling each other. I saw a jack rabbit racing across the back field when Dad took the tractor around the back. It could be a peaceful place to live being so close to the earth.

Mama Cat is going to stay there as its her home. She is very self sufficient and an awesome hunter. I am hopeful the new owners will keep her around as they are going to need her skills.

It was sad driving out of there. Sometimes I wish there was a way I could live there but I think it would be too much for me and its too far away from my daughter. I have a yearning sometimes for being close to the earth that comes up when I am there.

As I drove home, there was a gorgeous orange-pink sunset with the clouds all backlit with violet hues. I wanted to stop and paint it. It was a gift from the Goddess to watch that sunset unfold. A reminder that where ever I am is where She is.

Laurelina in progress

2010-12-06T21:38:00.001-08:00

A new batch of house runes

2010-12-06T17:05:00.001-08:00

the stuff you find

2010-12-03T21:18:00.001-08:00

Its funny how you can think you sorted things and tossed out stuff before you move, and then you get moved and find all kinds of things to get rid of. I think it has to do with dislocation or relocation.

Take that old traveling trunk. Its a family heirloom that I took to putting old artwork in years ago. I opened it today and went through it. There was very little that I ended up keeping. It felt good to empty it out. I now have lots of spare matt board to use for other projects.

Then there were the two drawers of jewelry and stuff from my dresser. I went through all that and tossed out things but found that some things had to be kept. Like my wisdom teeth that were pulled years ago. Why keep those? They're WISDOM teeth. Snicker.

The next project is to empty out Mom's old cedar chest and my china hutch of as many of the family treasures as I can fit into the old traveling trunk. And then give the entire trunk and contents to my sister for xmas. Clears up a bunch of stuff and deals with one present.

The best find from today was two very old Japanese prints. Have to show them to a friend of mine and find out if they are worth anything.

She is dancing....

2010-12-03T09:59:00.001-08:00

She is from Andalusia

2010-12-01T09:22:00.001-08:00

Is that my legendary self peeking through?

2010-11-29T14:15:00.000-08:00

Mandarin sumi

2010-11-29T12:25:00.001-08:00

discombobulated moving

2010-11-25T21:59:00.000-08:00

Moving to a new place is a discombobulating experience. Its like when the Map application on my iPhone gets wacky and starts complaining about compass interference. The map starts spinning around like a dizzy ballerina. Its not that I am spinning around but that there is a real sense of disorientation happening.

I drive to the local store from my old house on autopilot. Then I get back in the car after making my purchases and set out to drive to my new house and I experience a moment or two of utter confusion. All my landmarks are familiar but they now proceed in a new order and my brain has to rethink how to get places. I think its worse because I am only moving 10 minutes away from my old house.

Tomorrow the big stuff gets moved. It will be SO nice to settle into my new place. I want to set up my studio and easel and paint. I might even do that before I setup my computer stuff!

sort, toss, pack, move

2010-11-21T21:45:00.000-08:00

Packing and moving is a tiring, lengthy process. However, it does have its highlights....

I found the white holiday dress from last year that Kiddo lost. It was buried in a yellow bag at one end of her closet along with a furry dress up stole. I think it must have been there at least a month.

I rediscovered my boots - cowboy, riding, black leather, and zip up boots. I mean I knew I owned them but I wear flip flops until the last possible minute in the fall. So going through my shoes this evening was almost fun. Oh yay, its cold enough to wear cowboy boots!

The fun of rediscovering things I forgot I owned make up for the periods of sorting and tossing which are also required. There will be much more sorting and tossing and giving away to come. The car is loaded up for a donation run as I write. I have lots of stuff that needs to find a new home, especially given all the stuff that came home from my parents place.

The best part is the feeling of freedom that comes with lightening the load. I just have to remind myself to stick with it and keep sorting and tossing. I wont regret it!

packing and moving

2010-11-15T21:31:00.000-08:00

I have started the process of moving into my own place. The studio is the first thing to pack up. And perhaps the most dense room to pack. I wish it were already done but clearly packing is going to take several more days.

The new place has a few more things to be done. I am having the living room carpet re-cleaned because whoever cleaned it last left it smelly. Probably did not rinse it well and left it too wet. The carpet person I use can fix this. Then I have to get AT&T to fix their problem. The former tenant had a different service which meant AT&T installed phone jacks that won't work with my phones. Three calls so far. There will be at least one more to get them to remove the service call fee.

I am hopeful that by Friday I can move in my studio table and easel and start setting up. Then Saturday, I will drive to Hollister to bring up a load of furniture from down there to my new place. Then next week, maybe, get the rest of my stuff moved. Though I suspect it might be the week after given the Thanksgiving holiday.

I will certainly be thankful when it is all done!

Green feathered snake!

2010-11-14T13:49:00.001-08:00

Faith in feminism altar

2010-11-11T12:52:00.000-08:00

White Tara

2010-11-07T21:37:00.000-08:00

Found out who the Goddess is in the prior post. She is White Tara.

I was doing the TA gig in Women, Religion, and Social Change today. And this statue just wanted to come to class. I had packed up a tall white Kwan Yin to take but no, she had to stay home and the golden one came instead. She must have known she would occupy the primary spot on the altar because that is where She was all day - adored by all.

The best part however was the guest speaker who came in, took one look at her, and said White Tara. Happens that our speaker came in to talk to us about south east Asia and India.

Apparently the golden one wanted me to know who She was. After sitting in my Mom's entry hall gathering dust for years, I think She was ready to rejoin the world and share Her blessings. White Tara brings compassion, serenity, grace, and healing.

Who is she?

2010-11-02T08:15:00.001-07:00

Spiral Dance Phoenix

2010-10-28T13:15:00.001-07:00

Spiral dance Phoenix in progress

2010-10-26T16:06:00.001-07:00

Medusa's snakes in progress

2010-10-20T11:31:00.001-07:00

Landscape of sorrow sumi

2010-10-20T11:08:00.001-07:00

Why the Witchs Wit label needs to change

2010-10-18T10:04:00.001-07:00

In the last two years, I have reclaimed and embraced my life as an artist, and discovered in the process that the art I create is sacred. Part of my journey led me across the paths of other women artists who create sacred art and how they use it to heal culture and community. (See my thesis Unearthing My Mother: Women Artists Healing Culture Through Sacred Art, 2010.) If there was one thing I learned from my journey it is that images have the power to change culture.

This is one of the reasons I am so deeply offended by the use of the image that Lost Abbey used on their Witchs Wit beer label. The image, which I will not show here, is of a woman being burned at the stake and is meant to depict the Burning Times from the Middle Ages. The image is one of violence, repression, and hate. Women were brutally tortured, raped, and murdered for being midwives and healers.

To use an image of hate to sell a beer is despicable. To use that image and attempt to justify it with a back label that explains the excesses is ignorant of the power of imagery. There is no justification for images of violence, repression, and hate.

One of my friends has written that perhaps this piece of art should be viewed as a great piece of art - one that albeit provokes controversy as many great pieces of art have done in the past. While I acknowledge that art has had that role and likely will again, I must question the complacency that I sense beneath this response, and behind the responses from Lost Abbey in which they attempt to justify the use of the art on this beer label.

Is it really ok to use images of violence and hate on products to sell them? Is it really ok to propagate images that have the power of hate behind them for any reason? The numbers of women, children, and men murdered in the Burning Times even in the most conservative of estimates numbers in the hundreds of thousands. If we allow this image without protest, would we allow an image of slave in chains? A Jew in a gas chamber? These are violences on par with the Burning Times.

I believe we need to change our culture from one that obsesses on violence and hate to one that lives in connection and balance with our earth. Change it to a culture that says its not ok to bury a woman to her neck and stone her to death in front of her children. Change it to a culture that does not allow bullies to torment our children to the point of suicide. Change it to culture in which being named a witch does not mean you lose custody your children in a divorce.

Images have power. They stick in our minds. The Burning Times still echo in our culture today and Lost Abbey's use of this image is one example of that echo.

So, Lost Abbey, instead of showing a woman burning at the stake, why not show her being released and welcomed into the arms of her family? Why not show women healers from the middle ages being honored for their many contributions to culture?

CHANGE the image and you change the power behind the image.

Sumo spiral shell

2010-10-16T15:01:00.001-07:00

real estate deals

2010-10-10T21:16:00.000-07:00

Friday was a milestone day. Things progressed significantly on the real estate deal that will result in my parents having a new place to live. A much smaller place in town - not the over large house out in the country. The escrow should close next week.

The next stage is moving them into the new place which will require lots of down sizing. Its going to be a busy month I suspect....

Medusa in progress

2010-10-10T20:23:00.000-07:00

movement

2010-09-30T13:56:00.001-07:00

It has been a long summer with lots of things going on that I have not posted here. A time during which things that have been in process are completing. My thesis was the first.

The next thing is the ending of the long term relationship I was in. A truly sad but necessary process of owning the reality of our relationship. I am thankful we have been able to move through the process with grace, especially for our daughter's sake.

The next things in resolution is the situation with my parents. That too is finishing. They will be moving into a new place to live in the next month. And hopefully very soon after that, the big house will be sold.

I can tell these finishings are freeing up energy because suddenly things are happening. I have a date to paint with Sue Hoya Sellars my painting teacher! I signed up for the course Living a Legendary Life which I have wanted to do for some time. (It starts today and you can still sign up !!)

And, an opportunity to show my art, do a workshop and create the altar for a small conference in San Francisco is coming together. Stay tuned for dates!

Small spiral sumi

2010-09-30T10:33:00.000-07:00

Medusa in progress

2010-09-29T10:56:00.001-07:00